tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.comments2012-08-13T11:32:58.517-07:00Fathers' PrivilegeUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-44328252678795432082012-08-13T11:32:58.517-07:002012-08-13T11:32:58.517-07:00Hi Davene,
Did I get your name right? We haven...Hi Davene,<br /><br />Did I get your name right? We haven't spoken in a really long time. I would rather send you a regular e-mail than trying to type in this tiny box.<br /><br />I just wanted to check in with you. Touch base. Catch up. Share stories etc.<br /><br />I have some interesting stories to share too.<br /><br />I hope that you are well and in good health.<br /><br />Give my a holler some time.<br /><br />~Blaise<br /><br />blaisegauba@gmail.com<br /><br />P.S. How old is your son now? 16? My son just turned 20 and is in college. My daughter is almost 15 and starting her second year of high school.Blaise Gaubahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15245817025258146496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-10435133432465427152011-11-30T00:13:25.987-08:002011-11-30T00:13:25.987-08:00Wow! This is very great post! Really very nice to ...Wow! This is very great post! Really very nice to this kind of read! Thank you so much for sharing a great post. Thank you for posting such a great stuff!visitation rights for fathers Illinoishttp://www.goldberglawoffice.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-34623412722681067202011-07-15T11:28:56.223-07:002011-07-15T11:28:56.223-07:00@Incog: Thank you for your comments and for sharin...@Incog: Thank you for your comments and for sharing so much of your own history. It was great to see you in California!David Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12849200494760141604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-82250844079356658162010-06-19T10:44:03.672-07:002010-06-19T10:44:03.672-07:00Cool send me your email and I will make you an aut...Cool send me your email and I will make you an author!David Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12849200494760141604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-32333174406283878892010-06-19T10:23:50.096-07:002010-06-19T10:23:50.096-07:00Even though I have known you for several years now...Even though I have known you for several years now, I never read this post before so I did not know the whole story behind the issue with your son.<br /><br />I tend to agree with an earlier poster that it's the deadbeat fathers who perhaps have tarnished the reputation of all fathers. So when a good guy like you shows up, judges might be apt to assume you are a deadbeat yourself. Though you were there, for one, and you had evidence to show otherwise....perhaps there is still a state of mind that is decades old, where single mothers were generally the victims and without a male in the house, they could not both earn money and raise a child. But this is not the case in current society. Just as often the women are to 'blame' for the current situation and they themselves do not have the child's best interest in mind. <br /><br />Personally, your story affects me because I did have my biological father in my life and household, however I do not think he loved me and that he displaced his dislike for my mom at the time onto me. Once my parents divorced, I cut him out of my life and I no longer have any contact with him. It's some type of fucked up universe-logic that a crappy father could have a life with his child, yet just be able to do nothing about it and throw it away...while someone like you who does love his child and wants to have a life with him is treated in the way you have been treated and essentially miss out on your child being a child.<br /><br />I hope that when your boy is old enough to do things on his own, that he reconnects and you two can finally have the relationship you were supposed to have. I am glad you have shared this personal story with all of us.Incog.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00024654930333445739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-76546687831311900172010-06-11T17:30:05.759-07:002010-06-11T17:30:05.759-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-25498567675416558102010-06-09T13:33:54.309-07:002010-06-09T13:33:54.309-07:00Hi there
I somehow came across your blog from look...Hi there<br />I somehow came across your blog from looking at my weekly email from United Families International. I read something on their site, seen your link and clicked on it.<br />Just read your story and my heart is broken for you. Its really not fair for you at all.<br />I read Lynn's comment here and it infuriated me. She says you should consider walking away and starting another family!? That is the nuttiest thing I have ever heard! How can you even consider to walk away from your own child, your flesh and blood!? She must be a feminist or something.<br /><br />I am a wife and mom and happily married for 15 years. My husband loves our son as much as I do. How can any human being be so heartless as not to allow another human being (especially a childs parent) share custody!? What in the world!!! Yet this happens every day. It is crazy.<br /><br />If someone loves my child as much as I love them, I would want them in my childs life.<br />Children should get as much love and family as possible.<br /><br />Praying for you!<br /><br />CAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-34753445462684233142010-06-09T05:47:28.535-07:002010-06-09T05:47:28.535-07:00What's Happening i am fresh to this. I came up...What's Happening i am fresh to this. I came upon this forum I have found It truly accessible and its helped me so much. I hope to give something back and help other users like it has helped me.<br /><br />Thanks a load, See You Around.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-48691893868845451562010-04-13T12:14:25.720-07:002010-04-13T12:14:25.720-07:00I believe I have added permanent links on the side...I believe I have added permanent links on the sidebar of this page for all who have requested it. If I have failed to add yours, please let me know here: scottdavene@hotmail.comDavid Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12849200494760141604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-21459956032887479532010-04-13T05:53:27.577-07:002010-04-13T05:53:27.577-07:00Thank you for all the work you do in bringing the ...Thank you for all the work you do in bringing the issue of Parental Alienation into focus.<br />I have added a link to your site on www.evilsofpa.blogspot.com I’m asking you to include a link back from your site.<br />I believe that all victims of PAS have different experiences and views into this terrible problem that is destroying so many families and making family court lawyers rich. I would like to know your idea and your readers opinion as to child support. Money seems to be a reward and incentive for the alienation. Should child support payments be limited to what the state provides (pays a foster parent) to a foster child home?<br />Are family court attorneys a part of the problem?<br />How does the court system need to change to address the issue of PAS?<br /><br />Just a DadJust A Dadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-69178996605918544862010-03-27T09:15:56.126-07:002010-03-27T09:15:56.126-07:00I have linked your blog to mine at www.evilsofpa.b...I have linked your blog to mine at www.evilsofpa.blogspot.com<br /><br />I think we all need to work together and at somepoint write new law!Just A Dadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-42841899582126099342010-03-05T00:56:30.575-08:002010-03-05T00:56:30.575-08:00@Anonymous: Thank you for your comment. I wish yo...@Anonymous: Thank you for your comment. I wish you the best of luck with your children.David Scotthttp://www.freethegods.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-71051833375119986432010-03-04T12:52:06.759-08:002010-03-04T12:52:06.759-08:00David, I truely feel for you. I understand your fr...David, I truely feel for you. I understand your frustration, unfortunately my story is different. The bottom line I personally believe is that political stands have replaced common sense both in and out of the court room. I even read Lynns comment and again ignorance, "it takes two to tango", if she wanted to be a single mom, TOO bad, she should have asked you prior to conceiving and then running off.<br /><br />My story is a little different and I am a woman. I was raped by a man I had dated briefly and I was so scared and embarrassed I never pressed charges, I just wanted to be left alone. Lucky for me at the time he did leave me alone. I choose to keep the baby because I could not handle the alternatives, although little did I know he was waiting until after I had given birth to claim his "Fatherly rights", we have since been in a custody battle for two years. <br /><br />He abused my children (locking them in closets and the bathroom as punishment when they did not behave), which I did not find out until several months after he was out of our lives. I had also seen him smack his children in the face, and punch his son several times for not "getting something for him cause he was too lazy to get up, this was all in a two month period which is why I broke up with him! Mind you I even told chldren services about his abuse to his children, they did nothing! I cringe when I know I have to see him. I have done everything to protect my son. I am remarried and have been living with my husband since I was several months pregnant (he was a long time friend), my son naturally calls my husband daddy because he has been there since birth. His biological father on the other hand has seen my son only 10 times in two years, much because of court prodding, he chooses not to see his son. He wants full standard visitation and no less and is fighting for his fatherly rights! Again, mind you he chooses not to see his son (it's been 7 months currently), abused my sons, has neglected on almost every occasion my son at every visit, because I told him of severe allergies, of which I had to seek medical treatment several times for my son, and sent him several emails and letters about such (yet somehow I miscommunicated to him?!?) He has withheld my son, and lied about living and sleeping arrangments, among other things.... It's just so frustrating! Oh did I mention he has NEVER paid child support?!?!? I cannot afford it, but have spent thousands of dollars in legal fees to protect my child, yet a parent has their rights. Mind you my ex husband of which my other sons are with have a phenomenal relationship, and I would not have it any other way, when I moved for awhile miles away because of work, I made it a point to go out of my way to drive the boys to their dad.<br /><br />Personally Dave I just think there are really bad parents/people out there and the good ones have to suffer and fight it out for the children. I pray your son realizes all you are trying to do for him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-7305516709175842422010-01-28T12:19:55.024-08:002010-01-28T12:19:55.024-08:00Wow David, that's quite a story and I have so ...Wow David, that's quite a story and I have so many things running around in my head. First of all - thank you for your comment on my blog http://www.sharonpavey.org/equal-parenting - which is what led me here. <br /><br />I think your story may unfortunately have something to do with the many many many fathers who unlike you have abandoned and rejected their children over the centuries. My father was one of those men, who left me as a baby and went on to father more children with more women and leave them too. <br /><br />But - be reassured for your son's future, not all children with one parent grow up to have problems & from what you say about him, he's doing ok you know and obviously adores you even though you guys clearly do not have enough time together. <br /><br />I don't agree with Lyn that you should just give up and walk away, I wish when my mother told my father to go away, that he had not. I wish that like you, he had been there fighting to see me, be with me and love me every month of my life. I would then respect him now. I have two children of my own and I would never leave them or stop fighting to be with them. <br /><br />My husband & I share childcare - something that's pretty rare here in the UK. And we have discussed what would happen should we ever part, we plan to share the care of our children like Divotdawg said she did. Of course, anything could happen and then our courts would intervene.<br /><br />The legal process where you are sounds crazy. I think it's not so unjust here in the UK although I do belive that the law generally favours mothers still. <br /><br />Only one last thing I would say - is that because of all the problems you have had, perhaps other young guys could actually learn from you and not risk getting themselves pregnant with a girl who may just walk off with their foetus. I'm sorry this happened to you and the law is simply messed up but boys need to be careful too, and ones with a conscience like you, will end up heartbroken.Sharonhttp://www.sharonpavey.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-50801454714057443822010-01-28T10:34:12.357-08:002010-01-28T10:34:12.357-08:00@Anonymous:
Thank you for your comment!
You shou...@Anonymous:<br /><br />Thank you for your comment!<br /><br />You should be admired for your commitment to your children's well-being. I am sure you will be rewarded greatly for selflessness as they grow older. <br /><br />Best wishes to you.david scotthttp://www.fruitsoflifenow.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-88083239914950997362010-01-28T10:25:41.482-08:002010-01-28T10:25:41.482-08:00I wish my ex would read this and realize how good ...I wish my ex would read this and realize how good I am to him instead of complaining all the time. I go out of my way for him when he is traveling (which is often) so he can have extra time with them before and after trips. I also sometimes have to drive them 45 minutes away to his parents or my mother has to drop them for me. But all he does is complain about having to pick them up and drop them off as we live 30 minutes from each other and just recently because he would have to make an extra 20 min trip to take her to dance class 2x. I try to work with him on things all the time but he has no respect for the effort I put in and threatens me anytime he doesn't agree with things to try and get his way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-57065802090876399922010-01-11T17:54:43.122-08:002010-01-11T17:54:43.122-08:00I love your blog and would like to link it to mine...I love your blog and would like to link it to mine. I am an avid parental rights advocate and came across your blog from a comment you made on an anti-cps blog by Yvonne Mason. She forwarded it to me. There's a lot of advocates who do not work for fathers' rights. I am not one of those. Too many men are being falsely accused of horrific crimes against their children and spouses just so they can have the upper hand in a custody fight. This is wrong on soooooooo many levels. I have an anti-cps blog myself and would really appreciate it if you would provide a link to it on your blog as well. It's http://cpsasystemoutofcontrol.blogspot.com. I am working with Ms. Mason to write a book about CPS abuses. It will definitely include a section on false allegations against fathers. It has to stop. Getting CPS involved is a bad, bad,bad idea. When I got a divorce from my husband (I'm remarried now), we split custody 50/50. We never, not once, argued over who got the kids. Neither of us paid child support although we did financially support them together, no matter where they were. However, he didn't need my money as much as I needed his. I was a stay-at-home mom. If we can do it, everybody can. That's why I advocate for noncustodial parents fighting allegations of abuse by the other parent!Divotdawghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14453734054168347425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-91034078513950003122010-01-03T21:43:31.262-08:002010-01-03T21:43:31.262-08:00Thank you, Nina!
Your comments are greatly appr...Thank you, Nina! <br /><br />Your comments are greatly appreciated. There are few who have joined me in reason on this subject...David Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12849200494760141604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-17201205308257565992010-01-03T19:43:47.316-08:002010-01-03T19:43:47.316-08:00David,
Thank you so much for sharing your story, ...David,<br /><br />Thank you so much for sharing your story, it is truly heart breaking, and I wish you all the best. I disagree wholeheartedly with Lynn's comment, and believe that you have just as much of a right to be a part of your son's life as his mother does, regardless of your income, your status, etc. That child is still your son, and all of his mother's efforts to make it appear otherwise won't ever change that fact. The only reason a woman should have the option to CHOOSE to be a single mom if she's been inseminated at a sperm bank. Whether or not you were in a committed relationship is irrelevant. I am proud of you for standing up for your rights and his, and I hope there is a lawyer out there who will help you!ninanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-38916177192749471152009-12-20T10:59:14.213-08:002009-12-20T10:59:14.213-08:00Lynn:
Thank you for taking the time to read and co...Lynn:<br />Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my story.<br /><br />Actually, I did not send her much until the support order was in place, and I haven't been able to make all of my payments since then, either. I don't feel too bad about it, because she and her husband are very wealthy compared to me and I will eventually have to pay them interest on every unpaid cent.<br /><br />I believe it to be a long held doctrine of family law that a parent's financial status should not play a part when making custody/visitation decisions. If you read my article on Homelessness and Abuse, then you appear to have missed the point of it. Alienation from one or both parents often leads to homelessness in adulthood.<br /><br />Regardless, even if she and her husband weren't taking advantage of collecting the support payments while trying to alienate me from my son, I could no more walk away from him than I could cut off my own arm.<br /><br />I disagree with your statement about what "almost all men" would do. You seem to be suggesting that I should just continue to pay out nearly half of my income, and abandon my son permanently. I can only assume that you have had a negative experience with some man in your past and that has colored your perception of men and fathers in general.<br /><br />Thanks again for your comments and please come back from time to time.David Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12849200494760141604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-51157900111142920062009-12-14T22:23:38.718-08:002009-12-14T22:23:38.718-08:00The typo word is meant to read "providing&quo...The typo word is meant to read "providing"Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01884718502732239426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-36901931252363028832009-12-14T22:22:10.505-08:002009-12-14T22:22:10.505-08:00Thanks for sharing your story. I must admit to be...Thanks for sharing your story. I must admit to being a bit confused, or not able to understand some parts. From where I'm reading, I can see that you weren't in a committed relationship with the woman when she conceived. She didn't want you at the birth, she didn't wish to engage with you on a parenting plan, she decided to leave you off the birth certificate and she said she didn't want to live with you. It's clear that she wanted to be a single mother. You volunteer that you sent money, without her having a child support plan in place and for that, you are to be commended. But.....the reality is that you weren't committed to each other, didn't even live in the same towns, or near each other. Most men, if not almost all men, would have been thankful for that and just gone on their own separate ways.<br /><br />There are no doubts that you operated with the best of intentions. Your motivation was admirable but I'm left kinda wondering why you chose to pursue this. Especially, given your one-time homelessness status, which I'm not saying at all was your fault, but it does not bode well for rpvoding as a father. I can't help but think that you and your son may have benefitted better if you had walked away, allowing you to continue with your life and enter into a committed relationship with a different woman where, as a couple can then make a united decision to start a family.Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01884718502732239426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-71199666761828343592009-07-15T12:39:42.395-07:002009-07-15T12:39:42.395-07:00Scott,
Thank you for your story...being the father...Scott,<br />Thank you for your story...being the father of twin 7 year olds, I have been dealing with some custody issues as well. Although our situations have differences, I was also treated like crap by the two judges that were put on my cases. I am planning on filing a motion with the New Mexico District court system to allow unmonitored visitations to occur. I wish I could donate and help you out but I am tight on funds, I felt that your story was an inspiration and I hope that all goes well for you,<br />Peace,<br />Tobeycheftdphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02084258092238183873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-75703514273201416692009-07-14T02:39:45.469-07:002009-07-14T02:39:45.469-07:00"When Family Court judges talk piously of the..."When Family Court judges talk piously of the "caring court",I wish they could hear the roar of pain that their piety has caused."<br />John Hirst,Kangaroo Court.<br /><br />In solidarity good dads.dad4justicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399954680761271127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2370163066807705840.post-36704819081479613792009-04-16T22:57:00.000-07:002009-04-16T22:57:00.000-07:00Hi,
Thanks for your post. Two symptoms have been ...Hi,<br /><br />Thanks for your post. Two symptoms have been identified in <A HREF="http://www.fathershelphotline.com" REL="nofollow">false allegations</A> being used in divorce proceedings. Firstly, the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in which the child is alienated from one parent by the other. Secondly, the Sexual Allegation In Divorce (SAID) whose consequences are highly erroneous. In this kind of a false allegation, one parent is accused by the other parent of sexually molesting the child.Joe02https://www.blogger.com/profile/15286461475332213511noreply@blogger.com